Summer Reading Trail: July

From the Trail Head at VoireyLinger.com:

Follow this trail and discover great new writers this summer. These free reads include short stories, serial installments, deleted scenes and book excerpts from published and unpublished authors. This trail will run from the beginning of June through the end of September, and stops will be updated on the first of every month, so you can enjoy a summer of reading. You are encouraged to explore authors' websites and blogs, to take a moment to leave them a comment and to bookmark sites and visit often.

My own contribution to the July Trail is a brief erotic scene (m/m, f/f(/m)) connected to my upcoming release, The Chancellor's Bride. This particular scene does not appear in the novel--in fact, this will be the only place you'll be able to read it until (unless?) I get my butt in gear and write the rest of the story.

From the moment I wrote Collin and Harral's characters in Bound by Steel, I was determined to give them their own story, and that's what I did in The Chancellor's Bride. But when C's B begins, Col and Harral are already an established couple. Part of me still wanted to explore the very beginning of their relationship, that initial spark that drew them to one another. I wrote their first meeting a few months ago with the intention of posting it as a free read as release day approached. The July Trail gave me a great opportunity to do that.

Hope you all enjoy! And don't forget to follow the trail and read more stuff by some great writers!

Excerpt Monday!

It's once again time for Excerpt Monday, folks. This month, I've posted a steamy bit from The Chancellor's Bride, so if you all want a sneak peak, go look.

For some more steamy excerpts, try:

Evie Byrne, Historical Romance (R)
Aislinn Kerry, Paranormal (R)
Kim Knox, Erotic- Sci-fi Suspense (R)
Ella Drake, Sci-Fi Romance (NC 17)
Annie Nicholas, Sci-Fi Romance (NC 17)

Or go tp the Excerpt Monday site!

Cover Art Squee!!

Well, here it is, in all its nekkid glory: the cover for my July release from Samhain, The Chancellor's Bride. If there's one thing that can be said for historical fantasy, it's that stock photos with, you know, clothes suitable to the period are hard to come by, resulting in an abundance of cover heroes and heroines strutting around in their birthday suits. And you won't hear me complaining about it, either...

Those of you who have read Bound by Steel may recognize the two lovely gentlemen in the blurb below--Chancellor Collin and his lover-cum-manservant, Harral. The moment I wrote their characters, I knew I had to give them their own story--and a woman they could both love to bits.

Her love for two men could save their future. Her secrets could destroy them all.

Recently re-elected Chancellor Collin sur-Gaerig is a rising star on the political scene, and everyone expects he’ll soon be rewarded with an estate and title. He also has a dirty little secret: he’s in love with his manservant, Harral. If anyone—especially the wife he’s expected to take—discovers their affair, all his aspirations will go up in smoke.

The mysterious woman he finds lying half-dead in the street is strong, beautiful, independent…and aroused when she catches him and Harral in a compromising position. As Aelis worms her way past their closely guarded defenses and into their bed, they realize she’s the perfect match for both of them.

But Aelis has a secret of her own, an ex-lover’s blackmail scheme that could get them all killed. To save the men she’s come to love, she’s willing to sacrifice her own happiness, maybe even her life.

Collin’s not about to let that happen. For the first time in his life, he’s willing to risk it all in order to have it all. Even if it means he could lose the man he’s loved for years—and the woman they both want to love forever.

Warning: This book contains explicit sex, including m/m and m/m/f; violence; bad language; financial irregularities; uneaten dessert; gratuitous invocation of various deities; and breakfast-table hijinks you’re not likely to witness at your neighborhood IHOP.

For those of you scandalized by the idea of a dessert going to waste, I'm just going to apologize and say the plot demanded it. I can't be held responsible. The muse made me do it.

If you all would like to read an excerpt, I have one up here--and it should be safe even for my mom to read. I'll be posting some steamier stuff as the release date gets closer, along with the obligatory contest wherein I demand commenters say embarrassing things in lolcatspeak for a chance to win a copy.

For now, I'm just going to sit back and stare at the unbelievably sexy curve of that woman's spine, and ponder how a man's armpit can get me all hot and bothered...

Excerpt Monday!

It's Excerpt Monday again, that day when a bunch of us share links to excerpts from contracted work, released books or WIPs. Everyone who's playing this month will be posting five links to excerpts by other authors. My own is to a snippet from the work in progress you can see in my sidebar. I've picked 5 authors who all write similar genres with similar heat levels.

Kirsten Saell, Erotic Romance/Fantasy (NC-17)

Ella Drake Erotic Paranormal Romance (NC-17)

Ainslinn Kerry, Paramornal Romance (R)

Elise Logan, Paranormal/contemporary (R)

Vivienne Westlake, Historical Erotica (R)

Kate Willoughby Fantasy/Paranormal Erotic Romance (NC-17)

Want more? The Excerpt Monday site has a buttload of links to a ton of talented authors. Yay!

Happy Monday everyone!

Excerpt Monday!

It's excerpt Monday at Romance Divas, where promo-minded Divas have provided links to snippets from WIPs, contracted works and soon-to-be-released books. I posted the link to my own Chancellor's Bride--and FYI, I've also put up three new excerpts for works in progress on the Free Reads page of my website, if you all are interested in what I'm working on.

Go. Read. Have some fun.

Butterfly Swords by Jeannie Lin (with poll)
Cami’s First Kiss by Bria Quinlan
Excerpt Monday by Mel B (silentdreamer)
A Halloween Novella by Vivienne Westlake
Monday Excerpt by Maureen McCarrie
Monday Excerpt by Crista McHugh
Another Time, Another Place by T. Sue Versteeg
Monday Excerpt by Kinsey Holly
Del Fantasma by Becca Sheridan-Furrow
The Chancellor’s Bride by Kirsten Saell (Excerpt rating: PG, Site Rating: NC-17)
Scenting Cinnamon by Ella Drake (Rating: NC-17)
Asking for It by Kate Willoughby (Rating: PG-13)
21st Century Courtesan by Eden Bradley (Rating: Adult)
Excerpt Monday by Evie Byrne (Excerpt rating: PG, Site Rating: NC-17)
A Run for the Money by Gina Ardito
The Scroll Thief by R.F. Long
Resisting Kane by Stephanie Adkins
Inheritance by Lynne Chandler
The Encounter by Rose London (Rating: Adult)
Dying Embers by B.E. Sanderson
More than Magic by Babette James
First in the Soulguard series by Amber Gilchrist

Already??!!

Where on earth does the time go? Feels like Healer's Touch just came out yesterday, and here I am staring down the gaping maw of another release day.

Bound by Steel will be available on Tuesday. As it happens, BbS shares its release day with another significant event for those of us who live north of the 49th. Yes, Tuesday October 14 is election day for us Canucks. The political choices, they are as lame as ever. The fiction choices, however, are looking much more peachy.

In honor of election day, and in anticipation of Bound by Steel's release, I am going to post an unusually clean excerpt. All right, not clean, precisely, considering the questionable politics. Please remember, the political views expressed in this excerpt are not necessarily those of the blog owner.

"Tell me, Master Gil, do you know much Fjorn history?"

"As much as any man who is neither Fjorn, nor a historian."

"Then you must be familiar with the fall of the Temple Knights?"

Gil frowned, wondering exactly where this was going. "What man isn’t? High Prelate Eddard of Banebury wanted his brother Hillard on the Fjorn throne, despite the fact it was already occupied. His Knights would have succeeded, but for perfidy within the ranks of the Temple priests. After the debacle, it was decided that the clergy had too much earthly power, and the Order of Temple Knights was disbanded."

"A foolish knee-jerk reaction if there ever was one," the chancellor concluded.

"How so?"

The chancellor deftly peeled a prawn and bit it in half. "They disbanded an entire order of elite fighters—fighters who had, up until that one incident, been unerringly loyal to king and country—who then had no choice but to turn mercenary and find positions in the private armies of the Fjorn nobility. In essence, the disbanding of the Templars only increased the chances of civil war."

Gil sat back and took a long sip of his wine, intrigued despite himself by the man’s unorthodox politics. "What would you have done, chancellor?"

"The crown would have been better advised to enact measures to prevent nobility from rising to supremacy within the Temple. I will not need to tell you how such measures would have benefited Fjorg in its more recent troubles with the Dragon’s Head. And they ought to have written legislation consolidating all the armed forces of Fjorg under the aegis of the crown. A king cannot effectively rule if he must always tiptoe around his lords and their personal militias."

Gil stabbed at his salad with a three-pronged fork cast from pure silver. "But allowances must surely be made for a lord to defend his land, his vassals and tenants, and of course his family. Even these days, the world is a dangerous place. The Bal-shar may be gone, but brigands and raiders still victimize the innocent, especially in more isolated regions. You can’t possibly advocate the total abolition of the traditional household guard?"

Chancellor Collin smiled with a dry humor that did not quite reach his eyes. "That is exactly what I advocate."

Gil set his fork down on the edge of his plate, the delectable salad turning tasteless in his mouth. He may not be able to see quite where this conversation was leading, but he was beginning to feel the first stirrings of unease, and he’d learned over the years to trust his instincts.

The chancellor’s smile widened, but did not grow any warmer. "It is my belief that a strong king, with the proper resources, must be the ultimate authority of the land. If he is granted sufficient wherewithal through taxes and manpower, it should be his sole responsibility to govern, and to protect his subjects. And the first rule of good governance is upholding the law."

"And if a man has a grievance with his neighbor?"

The chancellor lifted his glass in a salute. "A king who cannot smooth over a neighborly feud has no business being king."

"And what," said Gil, trying to maintain a certain lightness of tone and not entirely succeeding, "ought a man do when he has a grievance against his king?"

"Then that man has a problem," the chancellor said quietly, his smile gone.

Gil pretended a keen interest in his wine as the serving girl brought in the second course, a roast pork sirloin with pearl onions, baby peas and a loaf of white bread hot from the oven. Everything looked delicious, but Gil’s appetite had fled. Over the course of the long wait in the salon, he had largely discarded the possibility of working with this man, and this…discussion only reinforced that decision.

The girl finished dishing out their meal and retreated. Gil picked up his knife and speared an onion, not with any real intention of eating it. All he wanted now was to finish this ridiculous conversation and get the fuck out of here. "Your interest in the topic seems more than a passing one, chancellor."

The chancellor’s smile was back full force. "I’m a man of ambition. A such, I aspire to change the world for the better."

"Surely you have no royal aspirations? After all, Belthalas has no king."

"Belthalas may be a city-state," the chancellor said affably, "but it is more similar to Fjorg than you might realize. Scaled down, it possesses all those parts that comprise a kingdom—a ruler, his loyal nobility, the civil service, a strong clergy, the commons and a militia. Unfortunately, it also abounds with mercenaries who threaten the stability of its righteous governance."

And there it was, out in the open. Gil stabbed a second onion onto the point of his knife. "The Emissaries."

Chancellor Collin’s teeth flashed, but the coldness of his eyes lent his smile a predatory aspect. "The Emissaries."

Gil’s fingers tightened on the haft of his dagger. Without being too obvious, he made a note of the exits, and where they were likely to lead.

Oh, dear. It looks like someone has an agenda. *sigh* I guess this is what happens when politicians don't get enough action in the bedroom...

Smokin' Hot!!1!!

Okay, it's finally been approved by those in power, and I'm now free to post it. Voila!

<===Lianon, drool, drool.

<===Kaela, mmmm, yummy....

<===Gil, oh swoon!

Told you all it was smokin' hot!

To celebrate this auspicious occasion, I shall treat you all to a snippet. A wee one, mind, with no actual smexing, because despite my delight over this wonderful cover, I am feeling a tad contrary today. And although my mood has nothing to do with you guys, I have no qualms about taking it out on everyone, lol!

Kaela sat huddled in the water, hugging her up-drawn knees. She looked so fragile, so lost, it made Lianon’s heart ache. “Let me help you with your hair?”

“All right.”

Lianon knelt beside the tub, just at Kaela’s shoulder. Reaching for the ewer, she filled it with steaming bathwater and poured it over Kaela’s unbound hair. The heavy black curtain plastered itself to her shoulders and back.

“Lean your head back.”

Kaela’s neck arched, the fine cords standing out. Her collarbones jutted, and Lianon imagined her mouth on them, her tongue dipping into the hollows. The girl’s knees were pressed tight against her breasts, but that only enhanced her cleavage. Lianon felt a familiar heaviness settle between her legs, but forced her eyes from the sight, and her mind from thoughts she knew Kaela would not be ready to acknowledge.

Gingerly, taking care not to startle her, Lianon washed Kaela’s hair and back, her hands skimming gently over the marks of her experience with sur-Marus. As she worked, the girl began at last to relax. The cooling water raised gooseflesh on the parts of her above the surface, and she hunkered deeper down. When Lianon finished with her hair, Kaela lay back, closing her eyes and resting the base of her skull on the contoured edge of the tub. Her crossed arms covered her breasts, but one pink nipple peeked from the crook of her elbow. Lianon’s eyes fastened on it as her belly coiled and tightened.

Gods, what was she doing? Her feelings were premature, to say the least. Even if she was able to guide Kaela toward an acceptance of her body and her sexuality, even if she helped her get past the rape, there was no guarantee that the girl would be remotely interested in any kind of liaison with another woman. If Lianon wasn’t careful, she’d end up with a broken heart.

“Hungry?” Lianon asked, flinching inwardly as her body responded involuntarily to the subtext of the word. Gods, she was hungry. Ravenous.

“Mmm,” Kaela sighed, smiling. “Starving.”

Lianon grabbed the tray and headed into the main room, where padded chairs and a settee would offer more comfort than the kitchen, and where there was no beautiful, naked woman in a bathtub to tempt her. She set their meal down on the low table and continued on into Kaela’s room. “I’ll bring you your shift and robe,” she called over her shoulder.

When she returned to the kitchen, it was to see Kaela wrapped in linen, one foot propped on a chair, drying her calf with a corner of the towel. Her limbs were displayed in all their contoured glory, her sleek, black hair seeming to caress her shoulders and upper arms. As Lianon stood there, transfixed with desire, the towel slipped loose and Kaela scrambled to retrieve it. Her creamy skin was flushed pink from the bath, and trails of water from her hair wove their way down her naked torso. She straightened, staring in horror at Lianon, clutching the damp linen to herself as her face went red. With a start, Lianon realized the girl wasn’t trying to cover her breasts so much as the scar above them.

“Don’t look. Please,” Kaela whispered, her chin starting to go wobbly.

Lianon turned her back, as much to dash the tears from her own eyes as to give the girl her privacy. The look on Kaela’s face hadn’t been the expression of violated modesty you’d expect in a young woman caught without clothes. It was a profound horror at being seen at all. And how could Lianon blame her? Kaela bore the marks of sur-Marus’ brutality all over her body, from the crescent-shaped bite-marks he’d put on her back and shoulders, to the scars on her face and chest from his bodyguard’s dagger. She didn’t see her body as a thing of beauty or a source of pleasure and comfort. To her, it was a constant reminder of an event she had to get past, if she was ever to be happy.

“I’m sorry,” Kaela whispered, clearly miserable. “I’m sorry.”

Lianon turned back to find Kaela modestly wrapped in her towel, hugging herself. “I’m sorry, Kaela. I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that…”

Reaching up to tug a sopping lock of hair over the scar on her cheek, Kaela looked away, blinking frantically. “I know. You don’t have to tell me how ugly I am.”

Lianon swallowed a startled laugh, her eyes stinging. She shook her head, bemused. “What are you talking about? You’re beautiful… Beautiful.”

Okay, that's enough of that! You want more, you'll have to catch me in a more agreeable humor, lol! :D

Bwahahaha! Release Day! And Contest Winners!

It's that day, people.

Healer's Touch goes on sale today!

Now before you all go rushing off to purchase the wonder that is my second book, please read yon excerpt. The set up: Inella, Viera's partner in seduction, needs a job, and she needs it like, NOW! The only dude hiring is Karal, the local Kurgan apothecary who, for reasons which escape him but are glaringly obvious to everyone else, can't seem to keep an assistant for more than a few weeks at a time.

But as Viera will discover, Karal knows things about Aru, mysterious things that ought to make her think twice about her seduction plans.

Winners of my pick-up line contest are announced waaaayyyy down at the bottom of the post!

*Mom, you've got the green light to read on!

“No fucking way.”

Beside Inella, Viera let out a long-suffering sigh. “Karal—”

“By god, I could eat this one for lunch and leave the table hungry,” the huge Kurgan growled, his voice like two rocks sliding against one another. Inella felt all the blood drain from her face at the sight of him leaning back against the counter. Even slouching, his head nearly touched the ceiling beams. Muscled arms folded across his broad tunic-clad chest, he stood and smirked, his gaze raking Inella in disdain.

“Karal—” Viera said again.

“She’s a twig,” the Kurgan went on. “A strong wind would knock her flat.”

“You get a lot of wind in here?” Viera asked with a half-smile. “Perhaps you ought to close your mouth once in a while.”

Karal’s glare narrowed on Viera. From the corner of her eye, Inella saw the other woman smile sweetly. Clearly Viera had gone mad. When faced with an angry bear, one ought not pick up a stick and commence poking it.

Inella shuddered and hugged herself. All morning, her imagination had conjured visions of what the Kurgan might be like, images of a face bordering on demonic, with a cruel, hard mouth, teeth meant to rend flesh and eyes that glowed like coals. Several times she had bit her tongue in the middle of asking Viera to call the whole business off. She’d had to tell herself to calm down, that Viera would never put her in the path of a monster, that the Kurgae’in were no longer the enemy of the Andun at all. But now that she was here and confronted by the reality, this entire proposition seemed insane. How could Viera have imagined Inella would be able to work with this brute? Even with his gaze on the other woman, Inella felt herself shrivel under the weight of his presence, as if the room were too small to contain him.

Karal’s withering glare seemed to be having the opposite effect on Viera. She drew herself up until it almost seemed she was looking down her nose at the much taller man. “You said someone who can read. Inella can read. She’s uneducated, but clever enough. And she’s willing to work with you. You ought to be down on your knees kissing my feet in gratitude.”

Karal’s face split into a wide grin and he looked Viera up and down, his expression completely different now. He chuckled softly. The sound raised gooseflesh all along Inella’s spine. “You know me, Viera. If I get down on my knees for you, it won’t be your feet I kiss.”

A choking noise escaped Inella and she slapped a hand to her mouth. Viera had done…that…with a Kurgan?

Viera stepped gracefully around a stack of crates that teetered in the middle of the floor until she was standing only inches from the Kurgan. She walked two fingers up his chest, making a moue and batting her lashes. “Look at this place, Karal. It’s a mess. You need the help and you know it. Give her a chance, Karal? For me?”

With a growl he snatched her hand and pulled it to his face. His nostrils next to the translucent skin of her wrist, he inhaled deeply. As Inella watched, his eyes darkened. Softened. Good god, she thought. Are they going to do it right here? At the notion a shiver ran through her, not altogether unpleasant.

“Mmm,” the Kurgan murmured. “You don’t come around at night of late, Viera.”

Viera cleared her throat delicately, a flush creeping up her cheeks as Karal straightened, pulling her even closer. “Aru keeps me busy…”

Karal’s carnal grin slipped a notch. “Busy at what?”

Viera smiled pertly. “Are you jealous now?”

“Should a man be jealous because the sun shines on others and not just on him?” Karal said quietly.

“So poetic,” Viera teased, bringing his hand to her mouth and licking his knuckles. Inella’s stomach tightened watching, and she felt a tingling between her legs that signaled a release of wetness, a sensation that was becoming more and more familiar. But Karal wasn’t in the mood for flirting anymore.

“Have you bedded him, Viera?” he asked, all trace of his smile gone.

She frowned, retrieving her hand from his grasp and taking a step back. “Not precisely. Why?”

“I would advise you to tread with care around the Omahru-azhi.”

Viera was scowling now, and Inella stepped forward to stand at her shoulder, silent support. “What are you talking about?”

Karal shrugged. “The walking dead are an odd people. They have odd ways. It would grieve me if you were hurt.”

Viera’s throat worked as she swallowed. “Aru would never hurt me.”

“The snake does not bite out of a desire to cause pain,” Karal said cryptically. “It bites because it has no choice if it wants to survive.”

Inella slid her hand into Viera’s and squeezed it tight. But Viera’s discomfiture was swiftly transforming into irritation. “You think I need to be afraid of him? Is that what you’re saying?”

“You need fear him no more than you would any other man,” Karal said stolidly, folding his arms across his chest once more. “But it is always wise to learn the nature of the beast before you assume him tamed and bring him into your house.”

Viera’s pout turned more playful. “What if I’m not looking for something tame?”

He laughed and the dark mood suddenly shattered. “Then you’re liable to get bitten.”


Oh, dear, something awful is bound to happen, I just know it. Will Viera discover the truth about Aru? Will Karal hire Inella? Will Aru finally succumb to Viera's demands?

Um, yeah, there's a pretty good chance, but you won't know for sure unless you read the book!

And now, because I can't reasonably put it off any longer, the winners of my pick-up line contest are:

3rd place: Seeley for "I can haz kok now?" (Although the "hard" thing was also good, despite what I might have said elsewhere *ahem*)

2nd place: Michelle for "Can I help you with your pants?" (Has nothing to do with anything, but still brilliant!)

1st place: Trisha for "Celabisee...Not so grate, akshully." (OMG. Stunning. I am in awe.)

As you may have noticed, I have a special affection for the literary gold that is lolspeak. Winners please contact me at kirstensaell AT yahoo DOT com with your preferance of title and format.

Now I'm off to obsess over whether my book is selling or not. Where's my booze?

Another Excerpt!

The seduction is on! Viera isn't going to let something as insignificant as a vow of celibacy stand between her and the man she wants. If that means she needs to call in reinforcements, well, she has the perfect ally.

Poor Aru doesn't stand a chance...

*As you might suspect, what follows is for grown-ups who are over 18 and are also not my mom



Aru looked up and couldn’t believe his eyes. She stood just inside his door, her body sheathed in a thin silk robe, her hair hanging loose to her waist, her lips parted on deep, swift breaths. For a moment, he couldn’t drag his gaze away. To his shame, he felt his cock stir and begin to fill with blood.

"Inella," he whispered, sitting up against his pillows. "What are you doing here?"

And then Viera was standing behind her, her hands coming up to settle lightly on Inella’s shoulders, her face hovering close at the side of the other woman’s neck. As he watched, transfixed, she brushed her lips across Inella’s cheek and slid her hands in a slow caress down her arms.

"I asked her to come."

He shook his head with the frantic denial of a horrified child, even as his member throbbed in his lap. God in Antuine, she would kill him with pleasure. And if she stopped, he might just kill himself.

He opened his mouth to speak, to plead, to scream for her to be gone, but then her hands closed on the fine silk of Inella’s robe, slid it from the woman’s shoulders, and as her beautiful, mortal body was bared to his eyes, the power of speech utterly abandoned him. His heart began to slam against the cage of his chest, an aroused beast that wanted to be let loose. His cock was already salivating like an animal at its first whiff of game.

"Light a candle, Aru. I want to see her too."

With shaking fingers he found flint and struck it, hardly capable of keeping his eyes on his task. Viera’s arms encircled Inella, her hands sliding up the softness of her belly to cup her small breasts. In the candle’s sudden flare, her fingers plucked at the pointed nipples and Aru’s breath wheezed to a stop in his chest. Inella’s eyes fluttered closed, her head falling back on Viera’s shoulder as those pale hands toyed with her breasts, tugging and twirling, until the nipples stood straight out, hard and straining. Inella’s body was no longer perfect—bearing two children had left her skin less than taut and her abdomen was covered with a fine tracery of stretch marks, showing silver where the candlelight struck them. Aru didn’t care. Standing here in his room with Viera’s hands skimming lightly over her, she was beautiful. Soft, half-formed moans issued from her throat, and she reached behind her, holding to Viera’s waist as if her arousal left her too weak to stand. And she was aroused—even in the dark, Aru could see it all. Her skin was flushed a deep rose, her pores were wide open, pouring out sweat and pheromones, her blood thrummed through her veins.

His hand was on his cock, gripping hard. His eyes were on Viera’s pale hands as they danced across Inella’s paler flesh, down her belly to the apex of her thighs. Her fingers brushed against dark blonde curls, teasing him with their hesitancy. Would she really do it? Would she really slide her fingers into that beckoning valley? He remembered a winter night a few short months past, a brief and brilliant vision of two women on a bed, and his cock wept.

Viera’s lips worked at the nape of Inella’s neck, her tongue playing, her teeth nipping and grazing that delicate skin. And as he watched, his hand beginning its own torturous dance up and down his cock, her fingers dipped down through that blonde thatch and into the other woman’s furrow.

"Ahhh!" Inella hissed, pushing her hips forward to increase the contact. Aru could see Viera’s fingers moving, exploring, delving deep, then retreating. When they emerged, they were shiny with the other woman’s slickness.

"I brought her here for you, Aru," Viera said softly, slanting a wicked glance at him through her lashes. "So you tell me. What shall I do to her?"

****

Of course, if all y'all had given me more pick-up lines, Viera might not have had to resort to such desperate measures. But don't despair, there's still time to enter your silliest, cheesiest, sexiest, lamest, most poetically alliterative and least coherent pick-up lines in the post just below.

:)

ETA: Waiting for the first lolpick-up: "Iz can haz pik-up line?"