Friday, May 23, 2008

Name This Baby - Contest!!

I need help, people, and in more ways than one. Given my growing urge to punish my latest, stubbornly unnamable novel, and in honor of the Smart Bitches' recent shenanigans, I hereby announce my first ever Purple Title Contest!

Read yon blurb. Post appropriately over-the-top, lilac-tinted title in the comments. Next week, a panel of three self-appointed experts will determine the most godawful, painfully purple example, and level a suitable punishme--*ahem* award the winner a free copy of the ebook in question (when it releases)--or Crossing Swords (out now) or Healer's Touch (August) if you prefer your gratification closer to instant.

Blurbage:


“I’ve been thinking about Kaela…”

There they are – the words that lead Gil to suspect Lianon his wife is falling in love with someone else. Not with another man – with Kaela, the traumatized girl they rescued from certain death six months before, the sweet, beautiful young woman who’s been living with them since that terrible night at Flaxton’s Inn. Gil has no idea how to compete with a woman for his wife’s affections, and part of him isn’t interested in trying. Because Lianon has plans for the three of them, plans that worry Gil less and less as he begins to fall under the spell of Kaela’s tarnished innocence.

But even as Gil, Lianon and Kaela succumb to the growing desire between them, the two Emissaries are drawn against their will into the intrigues and vendettas of Belthalas’ elite. When Lianon is kidnapped, Gil finds himself caught between one of the city’s most powerful politicians and those who seek to destroy him. Gil must weave a dangerous path between one adversary’s ambition and another’s lust for vengeance, even as Kaela works her way further under his skin. By the time Kaela is finally reunited with her disapproving family, Lianon’s heart isn’t the only one that stands to be broken.

One way or the other, it could be a very unhappy ending for everyone…


~

There you have it. Despite my editor's flagrant taunting and my own growing annoyance with the entire ordeal, I am reluctant to name this book One Sword, Two Scabbards. So have at it, one and all. Do your downright, despicably flowery worst!

And if any of you can think up a suitable title in a more utilitarian shade of say, brown or ecru or Navaho white, feel free to email me. At this point, I need all the help I can get!


Edited to add: The deadline for entries is Thursday, May 29. The winner (or winners, depending on how tough the decision is!) will be chosen Saturday and announced immediately thereafter.

21 comments:

Seeley deBorn said...

I'll say it again because it bears repeating.

You bastard!

(me, title something?? you must be joking)

kirsten saell said...

What? What did I do??? Just because I finally went and got my own personal soapbox from which to spew my own twisted and demented version of reality...

C'mon, Seeley. Anything. The cheesier the better. You can do it. I believe in you!

Stacia said...

Seducing Kaela

Loving Kaela

When Kaela Came

Kaela in the Morning

And Kaela Makes Three

Three for Battle

Coming in Threes

...yeah, I'm out and those suck. So? I'm a DUCHESS.

laughingwolf said...

you already have the title, in your blurb: Lianon's Heart

Penemue said...

Courting Kaela

Pleasure Comes in Threes

Triple the Pleasure, Triple the Fun (ok, that one's just baaaad...but it makes me laugh XD )

Unsheathed Hearts

Penemue said...

I thought of another one:

Fencing Lessons: In Which Kaela Learns The Proper Way to Grip a Sword

Okay, yeah, now I'm just being ridiculous. But it's so much fun. ;)

Melissa Blue said...

"Kaela's Quivering Bosoms"

Contributed by Melissa Blue.

Nonny Blackthorne said...

"There's Something About Kaela"

"Thrice Bound"

"The Lying Cheating Double-Dealing Swordsman's Wife's Not-So-Secret Not-Quite-Bride"

Hey, you wanted silly. XD

LVLM(Leah) said...

Seriously, I got bubkas, sorry. This is why you are the writer. : )

Three for all and two for one

Double the trouble

Gil’s posse

Menage in Belthala

3’s company. Ok, I totally stole that from the TV show. So sue me.

I'll keep thinking about it.

By the way, from your little blurb there, I am sooo hot to read this book!

kirsten saell said...

hehe, D, Coming in Threes. All good things, baby!

Lianon's Heart, that's hardly cheesy at all, Laughingwolf. Kinda sweet. Almost profound...

Actually, Aislinn, she does learn the proper way to...oh, never mind.

Mel, I'm going to use "Quivering Bosoms" in the very next book I write about an archer. Can't let an awesome pun go to waste, now.

"The Lying Cheating Double-Dealing Swordsman's Wife's Not-So-Secret Not-Quite-Bride" As much as I love this title, Nonny, it leaves some ambiguity as to whether it is the swordsman or his wife who possesses these character flaws.

Dang it, Mme. Butterfly, all the good titles are taken. Crimes and Misdemeanors, Crime and Punishment, Steel Magnolias, Love's Reckless Rash, Sweet Savage Menopause, 3's Company... It's a conspiramacy, I tells ye.

And thanks, MB, you are a balm for my withering ego!

Unknown said...

Thrice in bed, thrice be burned?

Kaela's Awakening

And Gil makes three?

Not very good but the best I can do. Good luck

veinglory said...

My brain when of on a Rasta trip and never came back with a title idea, unless you count a trippy lyric along the lines of "...iron, like a Lianon, in Zion..." (Which I wouldn't)

Seeley deBorn said...

Dammit. Something came to me earlier and I didn't act on it. It's gone.

I reread your blurb and now I'm trying to convince myself that succumb isn't a compound word...

Melissa Blue said...

Can't let an awesome pun go to waste, now.

LMAO. There is just something about the phrase "quivering bosoms" that rings purple prose to me. And now it would be shameful to let a pun go to waste.

Good luck on the title search.

laughingwolf said...

sorry, rats got all my cheese! ;) lol

Seeley deBorn said...

Braided Blades.

My final offer.

kirsten saell said...

Hey, Seeley! You can't suggest the same title as purple and beige! LOL!

Sylvia said...

I didn't even know you had a blog!

Sneaking in quick before the deadline:

Gil Trip
A Bigger Bed
Kaela Comes
Double Danger, Triple Pleasure

More seriously, Tarnished Innocence jumped out at me from your blurb.

Maia Strong said...

A Vendetta, The Emissary, His Wife, and Their Lover (Okay, stealing from the movie, but it's the first thing that came to mind.)

One in the Hand is Worth One in the Bushes (Okay, even I think that's appalling. LOL)

Three Hearts, One Bed

La Petite Mort de Trois (Am I getting too esoteric?)

This is fun and is a good excuse not to work on finding a title for one of my own books. ;)

judiebabie said...

The Sweetest Temptaion for Gil

Lisa Whitefern said...

Really Bad Purple Title?
Three Throbbing Hearts
Kaela's Passionate Prince
Double Desire
The Swordsman Only Seduces Twice