I promised a contest...

...and a contest ye shall have.

In honor of the print release of my second book, Healer's Touch (40% sex/volume), I am asking, nay, demanding you all come up with some brilliant diamonds of lolcatesque wit in my "Caption that Cover" contest. And no, I did not steal this idea from the Smart Bitches' post of yesterday--allow me to direct your attention to exhibit A, my comment timestamped 9:26 AM, May 27. Hah! In their faces! In fact, I bet those Bitches have been lurking around here and stole the idea from me! But I'll get them, don't you worry. And when I do--

*ahem*

As I was saying, I want lolcatspeak, and I want funny. And I know you all can deliver it. Enter as many captions as you like, and the winner will get a signed copy of the title in question.

Here's the blurb, for your edification:

She’s determined to break his eight centuries of celibacy—at any cost!

Darjhian healer Aru has been in exile for eight hundred years, barred from the Deathless Land and parted from his wife. Now fallen from grace and no longer immortal, he can never return to her.

Yet he cleaves to his marriage vow and holds himself apart from everyone—especially Viera, the former prostitute whose sexual energy provides the power needed for his healing work. She presents a temptation he must constantly hold at bay if he’s to keep to his vow.

Viera isn’t interested in fighting temptation. She wants Aru. He wants her. What could be simpler? After three frustrating months working with him, her need for him has reached the breaking point. He claims he can never touch a woman again, but Viera isn’t the type to take no for an answer.

Over four glorious nights, she shows Aru everything he’s denied himself for eight centuries. But a shadow hangs over their passion. Aru is keeping secrets about the nature of his mortality. And now he faces a terrible choice…

Break Viera’s heart, or risk destroying her with the knowledge of what he truly is.

Product Warnings

This title contains: graphic sex, including anal sex, f/f and m/f/f; bad language; inappropriate use of a kitchen work surface; flagrant tickling of ivory; and a wagon-load of good, old-fashioned voyeurism.

Deadline for entries is Wednesday the 10th at 11:59 PM.