Thursday, September 17, 2009

people are weird....

Okay, so I stuck a tracker on my website about a month ago, and now I can indulge my inner voyeur without getting myself arrested. This has, however, introduced me to a whole new world of bizarre and questionable Google search terms and the (I would expect) bizarre and questionable people behind them.

Most are pretty reasonable and applicable:

touching inside panties soaking

girls derty nickers with damp patch in [not mom-safe]

in side my knickers (not sure how these two hit my site, since I don't think I've ever used "knickers" in my fiction...)

steel between her legs

sitting across the office she parted her legs and showed me her [ahem] (have to credit this one--a complete sentence and every word spelled correctly)

he lightly touched her [ahem] with his tongue (again, astonishingly literate)

[coughcough] me through my panties

tear my pant with your teeth

romance thrust breasts hands (bwahaha! Why bother with filler words, let's cut to the chase, shall we?)

But other search terms give me mental images that I will never be able to scrub away, such as:

smell mom panties (oh, ewww)

.....or the one that made my eyebrows hit my hairline:

snake in my [place where no self-respecting snake would willingly go] (do I really need to comment further?)

So what do these people do when they get to my website? An astonishing number of them, even the aforementioned snake fetishist, spend between 20 minutes and a couple hours poking around, reading my free samples and looking at my bio.

Now, I've read some interesting books and seen some cool shows based on people who can read others' thoughts, and as a kid, I always figured it would be cool to have that ability. But looking at those last two search terms, I'm thinking I probably don't really want to know what's going on in people's heads. All things considered, I might just stop looking at my tracker and invest in a telescope and see what kind of normal, everyday shenanigans the people across the street get up to...

7 comments:

MB (Leah) said...

Yeah... it is freaky what people type in for a search.

derty knickers? LOL Much be a Brit.

Steel between her legs...Ummm... scary.

Smell Mom panties... Ick, just ick.

Here's some of mine:

madame granny gang bang. WTF???

woman having sex with strangers tube search

domme Comic (butterfly)

BUTTERFLY DA PORNSTAR LOL Moi???

crotchless stockings masterbate

chat porny sex

forced seduction videos sites ( umm... scary that.)

anal play slave discipline

I don't even want to know what's going on in most people's minds.

sylvia said...

I worked for an ISP in the late 90s.

I was in a position to watch the searches that people put through, so I did.

I sent the results to a statistician who said : you don't want these results.

"porn" was the most common search term. And that's BEFORE he threw out "a", "the" and "it". And not including related terms (prn, p0rn, sex, etc) just the one word.

I sulked lots, as I'd spent so much time saying that the popularity of the internet was NOT about porn (nothing wrong with porn, mind you, just not why people were getting connected) and tried to argue with him. He sent me the stats for "nude granny" as a response. This was something I never wanted to know.

I stopped arguing.

Tiah said...

LMAO! My husband had to install a tracker at work and the sites people look at while at work, oh my. There is a time and place people! :o)

Athena 101 said...

Can I just say I am laughing my ass off???? I gotta go, people are staring...

jenn said...

Telescopes actually invert images. Something about resolution...

What you want are high powered binoculars. The kind with night vision.

jenn said...

13 days and counting....

kirsten saell said...

Hey, you wanna read me ranti--I mean blogging, go here, or here.

Of course, if you really want me to post about what color snot I'm blowing out of my nose today, I can do that too. Where's that NyQuil? :P