Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Holding Pattern

Yup, that's my life these days. I'm...not in a funk, precisely, but I am feeling very introspective these days. I have a birthday coming up on Saturday (39--OMG, I'm staring down the gaping maw of 40, holy hell), I'm trying not very successfully to wrangle my ex to sit down with me and negotiate our divorce, Christmas and New Year's is coming, so it's kind of a weird time. A time for navel-gazing and figuring things out--what I want for me and the kids, how to get there, all that crap.

Of course, that means I haven't been around much at all--not in any of my usual haunts on these here intertubes. I have been lurking a bit, but not posting much at all. Haven't been doing much at all in the real world either (other than surviving 10 days of my kids having swine flu and various personal irritations like postage mix-ups and fixing scratches in my laminate flooring with a brown pencil crayon and stuff).

In other news, my van is making a horrible noise that three mechanics have told me is likely the flex plate for the torque convertor. For all of you mechanically uninclined folks, that most likely means a $100 part and $800 labor. In other words, they have to pull either the engine or the transmission to replace one little part. But one of the delights of living in a small, close-knit community is that people don't like to see people like me get the shaft. An acquaintance has offered to do the work for free, because I'm a single mom and he knows my finances are tight. So I'm going to bake him a couple of authentic Danish Kringles and dedicate a story to him, and talk him up to everyone in town. I think I almost cried when he offered to do it, and it just makes me feel so good to be living in a place like this.

In other other news, my buddy's trailer is being repoed. Not the bad news you might assume. She doesn't own it anymore but her name can't be removed from the mortgage, so a repo means she can start rebuilding her credit that much sooner. On top of that, as a thank you to me for all the help I've given her in her recent troubles, she gave me her kitchen appliances. We swapped out my 30 year old fridge and stove for her 5 year old ones (and OMG, her oven is a conventional/convection combo--and it's self-cleaning!), and for the first time in my entire life I have a dishwasher. I put it through its inaugural run tonight, and I am so freaking stoked. The Saell family rockets into the 1970s! Yay!

On the not so bright side, my muse is silent. I have three WIPs on the go and none of them are calling me. I was thinking of doing a short erotica piece to get my groove back, so we'll see. I need to write something to dedicate to my philanthropic mechanic. :)


sylvia said...

It's been a tough time. I hope you are feeling back on track soon.

Recipe for Danish Kringles, please?

(also, feel free to hit me but I'm squinting at your profile picture, trying to work out what's in front of your chin?)

MB (Leah) said...

Aw crap. Big hugs {{{{ }}}}} But you know, it's good to have down time to recoup and figure out what's what.

So lucky that you live in a small enough community that help comes when you need it and that you get support from it.

I'm sure you'll be getting out of your funk soon.

And 39? Puleeze, I can't even remember my 39th birthday! LOL When you're over 50 like me, you'll think back on 39 and wonder what all the angst was about. snerk

Besides which, I didn't meet the current Mr. until after 40 and it's been the longest and best love affair yet. So, not to worry my dear about turning 39, the best is yet to come! :D

kirsten saell said...

Hehe, Sylvia, that's Blammo's head. My daughter was taking some pics of me and he wanted to get in on the action, but for internet, I figured I'd cut his head off. LOL

As for the kringle, I've been hunting all over the net for recipes. I'll have to try a few before I'm willing to give one out as authentic--but I've found some that look like they'd be the perfect combo of yeast dough/puff pastry that gives the soft, flaky, buttery goodness that is the kringle I remember. Of course, it would probably be easier just to move someplace closer to a real Danish Bakery, but whaddayagonnado?

And yeah, it's been a bit rough lately, but I think it's a matter of my maudlin mood rather than anything specific that's going on. Usually, it's water off a duck's back. These days, it's more like battery acid off a duck's back. Or tar. Or something less like water.

Yup, I've got a baaaaad attitude. :P

kirsten saell said...

Thanks, Leah. I must admnit, I've been wallowing a bit. I think it has to do with the fact that there are maybe 40 single men in this town that are in my age range--and most are single for a good reason. I was hoping to not venture further afield because I don't like the idea of moving. I love this town, love my house and my kids' schools and their dad is close by. But if staying here means I'm going to be alone long term, I might have to consider hitting the road.

And yeah, I know I'm overreacting about the 39 thing. I think it has more to do with the fact that I'm not just 39, I'm 39 with three kids. That's not just baggage, it's freight. LOL

And I'm having a hell of a time getting the ex to discuss assets and child support, etc. He keeps saying he's busy. Grr. But right now he and our shared debts are a boulder tied around my ankle and I need to cut it loose. If he doesn't want to sit down within the next couple of weeks, I'm going to get a lawyer and have him served--and he won't like it. Getting sick of waiting on his leisure.

I mean, dude, I can't even put a profile up on eHarmony because I'm technically still married--and I'm not the kind of person to lie. Stupid, I know, but I just can't. Sigh.

Cathy in AK said...

...I can't even put a profile up on eHarmony because I'm technically still married--and I'm not the kind of person to lie. Stupid, I know, but I just can't. Sigh.

It's not stupid, it's being honest. Which you are. A friend of mine, who has used eHarmony and others like it, seethes royally when she learns the men she's made a date with are technically still married. Even something that might be considered a bit of a fudge rather than an outright lie is not the best way to begin any relationship. I hope you get that taken care of soon so you can find a good person to be with : )

Belated happy b-day! I hope things are looking up for you.