Winnah, winnah, chicken dinnah!

Actually, we're having pork roast tonight, but whatever.

I asked my random number generator--otherwise known as Blammo, my third-born--to pick a number between 1 and 7. Fully embracing the role, he beeped, rattled, hummed, started emitting smoke, and then hollered "5!"

Which means flchen1, you get a platter of bland, rubbery veal, served up inside the thrilling plot of my first published book, Crossing Swords. I have your email, and will send ASAP (as soon as plausible, which means tonight, if I don't have a maternal lobotomy moment). Congratulations!

Winnahz!!

Okay, I've been trying to hold out for more entries (which, as it happens, allows me to indulge my own laziness, which is one of those indulgences I hate to deny myself), but methinks it's time to announce the winners of the two contests I've been ignoring for the last month or more.

Sigh. I am so bad.

So without further ado, the winner of my Bound by Steel poetry contest is:

M.A.

and, because I only had two entries, and I couldn't decide which I liked more,

Tarsilla gets one too!

And the winner of my Chancellor's Bride cheesy pick-up line contest is:

jenniferleeland

for her stunningly succinct entry, "Wanna fuck?"

As usual, if you could email me at kirstensaell(AT)yahoo(DOT)com with your info, I'll send your books as quickly as possible. Thanks for entering, and hope you enjoy them. And as always, feel free to let me know what you think, even if you think I suck rotten lemons or something. Feedback--even negative--is a good thing. :)

All right, already!

Okay, okay, you all can stop nagging. Oh, wait, my mistake. That was my conscience nagging, telling me I've been a lazy, unorganized, neglectful lump.

I promised a winner, and a winner you shall have, even if it kills me--which it might, and won't you all feel horrible then.

And, contrary to what some of you will have expected, it was one of the clean entries that tickled my funny bone the most. Yeah, I'm in an odd mood these days, so sue me.

So the winner of the lolcat contest thingie and proud owner of a copy of Healer's Touch embellished with my John Hancock (hehe, I said "cock", hey, I haven't changed that much), is Tarl, for this G-rated yet apt caption:

Yew got Lytning bug in yer hairs. I gets it for yu!

I'm sorry, but it was too cute, and too perfect. And I know what you guys are thinking--all those orifices and penis jokes, and this is the one I pick? Next thing you know, I'll start writing Young Adult or Sweet Romance, and when that happens, the men in white coats can't be far behind.

Congrats, Tarl! Well played! If you'd send along your mailing info to kirstensaell(at)yahoo(dot)com, I'll have your book dispatched forthwith. :)