Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I promised a contest...

...and a contest ye shall have.

In honor of the print release of my second book, Healer's Touch (40% sex/volume), I am asking, nay, demanding you all come up with some brilliant diamonds of lolcatesque wit in my "Caption that Cover" contest. And no, I did not steal this idea from the Smart Bitches' post of yesterday--allow me to direct your attention to exhibit A, my comment timestamped 9:26 AM, May 27. Hah! In their faces! In fact, I bet those Bitches have been lurking around here and stole the idea from me! But I'll get them, don't you worry. And when I do--

*ahem*

As I was saying, I want lolcatspeak, and I want funny. And I know you all can deliver it. Enter as many captions as you like, and the winner will get a signed copy of the title in question.
Here's the blurb, for your edification:
She’s determined to break his eight centuries of celibacy—at any cost!

Darjhian healer Aru has been in exile for eight hundred years, barred from the Deathless Land and parted from his wife. Now fallen from grace and no longer immortal, he can never return to her.

Yet he cleaves to his marriage vow and holds himself apart from everyone—especially Viera, the former prostitute whose sexual energy provides the power needed for his healing work. She presents a temptation he must constantly hold at bay if he’s to keep to his vow.

Viera isn’t interested in fighting temptation. She wants Aru. He wants her. What could be simpler? After three frustrating months working with him, her need for him has reached the breaking point. He claims he can never touch a woman again, but Viera isn’t the type to take no for an answer.

Over four glorious nights, she shows Aru everything he’s denied himself for eight centuries. But a shadow hangs over their passion. Aru is keeping secrets about the nature of his mortality. And now he faces a terrible choice…

Break Viera’s heart, or risk destroying her with the knowledge of what he truly is.

Product Warnings

This title contains: graphic sex, including anal sex, f/f and m/f/f; bad language; inappropriate use of a kitchen work surface; flagrant tickling of ivory; and a wagon-load of good, old-fashioned voyeurism.

Deadline for entries is Wednesday the 10th at 11:59 PM.

20 comments:

I Heart Book Gossip said...

What an interesting book. I've read rave reviews on it. Please count me in.

Desiree Torres said...

I have no idea why but the first thing that came to mind was...Can I haz fries wit dat?

Maybe my diet is taking it's toll? LOL

Trisha said...

Little 2 lefts, dere...O BTW, I'z imo...immmart...I'z gonna liv 4ever, mmmkay?

Trisha said...

Fore nites? Drop in bukkit.

Tarl said...

Yew got Lytning bug in yer hairs. I gets it for yu!

Tarl said...

I gives yu a Zerbet!
Oh Noes! Stoppit!

Seeley deBorn said...

Tayst liek chik'n. Try eet!

Seeley deBorn said...

Hair? Is no hair! I'z shaved.

Oh... you mean it luks liek a hair... *sad*

Cathy in AK said...

Capshun #1, Viera: I can'tz believe you ate the whole thing either. Whatzit doingz in there?

Capshun #2, Aru: I'z never tried THAT orifice before!

Aislinn Kerry said...

Best I can come up with is...

im in ur bed, destroyin ur celibasee!

Chaeya said...

Here's my caption:

"Wow, when I put my ear to your belly button, I can hear the ocean!"

Chaeya

Julia Knight said...

I sure contact lenz here sumwhere

Paula said...

I'm not quite fluent in lollanguage, but here goes...
---------
In Ur Bed, Stealin Ur Reburn Virginity
---------
Iz Not Loincloth, Iz My Hare
---------

Paula said...

Should have read the previous comments first... Sorry, Aislinn Kerry, we obviously think alike. lol

Caffey said...

'ew, shez drooling in my bellzy buttonz'

Caffey said...

Here's one more I can think of (bad, LOL)
"um that'z not mez arse, its myz bellybuzzon"

and

"witz one touch u'zz make mez glow"

SPMiller said...

omg lol ur eer is so tite!!1

Tiah said...

I WAITD 8 SENTURIEZ AN ALL I GIT IZ AN EAR?



FRENZ, DARJHIANZ, PROSTITUTEZ, LEND ME UR EARS.

jenn said...

so, when do we find out who the weiner is??

kirsten saell said...

Tomorrow, Jenn. I know, I'm taking a very long time, but I have a good excuse--I'm lazy and unorganized. :)